A mother’s hustle is no joke. It takes time, diligence, sometimes self-denial, lots of reassurance, and sacrifice. When it comes to motherhood, it is more than changing your baby’s diaper, helping with homework, cooking three meals a day (or in a week), and reading bedtime stories. It’s all those duties and more while you juggle your career, whether from home or on site. In this very moment, I take this opportunity to lift my hat to all the mothers who commit to getting up each day and serving even when weariness is knocking at the door.
THE CHALLENGES
On any given day, a mother’s day begins at the on and off cries of her baby. As this baby grows, the mother will be back within her regular work routine whether is at home or on site. Only three months or less is often allotted to working mothers who go on maternity leave. Now let’s be serious, not even the mother’s body is back within three months, but somehow we must make it work. At this point, you must figure out your childcare situation- a trusted daycare center, a nanny may be hired, family or the baby is being cared for throughout the day by the mother with little to no help. Mothers going back to work, if breastfeeding, have to figure out their milk expression situation and setup at their place of work. Mamas learn quickly how to use her hours wisely between baby naps when situated at home. Many times in this period of a mother’s life, cold meals become the new daily normal.
‘Mom-Guilt’
The mother who decides to go back to work and leave her child to be taken cared by a nanny, daycare or a trusted somebody, is faced with varying degrees of emotions. Feelings of anxiety and depression can arise for feelings of uncertainty about your mom abilities and your child. The guilt becomes pronounced when worry sets in and you believe that you haven’t lived up to certain expectations for your child; it can be emotionally taxing. Mom-guilt is common, but the type of feelings that manifest are different for each mother. For me, when I went back to work after having my second child, I was so emotional and I could not even believe that I left this baby at home and she was less than three months! At that time I was working a night shift and my worries became so much at a certain part of the night, that I asked to leave early from work. I returned home to find my husband wide awake sitting on the couch holding the baby at 3:00 in the morning. My goodness!
For some mothers, the help of childcare is the only reason they’re able to juggle parenting and their career, the creeping thought of their child spending too much time with the nanny or the ruminating thoughts of doing all you can to bond with your child. It’s natural to experience these feelings because they guide your actions and helps you to keep improving.
Self-Care
Sometimes it may be challenging to remember to take time for yourself, but you must be deliberate about making time to do so. Many times mothers face burnout as a result of a lack of self-care. You need a break and time to reenergize. The demands of each role can have you feeling like it will never end! So make plans to do somethings for you. Go workout or do yoga (if you’re into that). For me, I love to get pedicures and I love GOOD massages, even the free ones given to me by my husband. You better believe those are always on my agenda! Do you want a drink? Go and get one. Are you into facials? Go make that appointment! Nobody is going to love you better than you love yourself.
Family-Time
After you squeeze time in for you. You have to make room for those folks in your family. Finding time for the family is very important. Time may not always allow for long drawn-out get-togethers, but as busy and demanding is the life of a working mother, engage in family time activities. On any random evening, my family and I play board games like monopoly, Uno, and Janga. We also have movie nights, dance to music, color, play tic tac toe or simply just go outside when the weather permits. You should cherish these moments with your family, because before you know it your kids will have their own schedules and do their own thing.
MOTHERLY EXPECTATIONS
Moms are expected to rise to the occasion of all the tasks placed before her. Without questions asked, moms find a way always to make it happen, sometimes even at the expense of sleep, meals, alone time, or even taking showers. Mothers only understand how to excel even when facing tremendous pressure from work and loved ones. The support may not always be present, but she is going to make planning her tool to help balance parenting and her career. I just pray that with it being 2021, someone gets it in their noggin that, all these expectations are unreasonable and more support for the mothers are needed! In the meantime, we can find ways to manage.
Juggling Motherhood and Career
Even though us mothers can be “strong”, we need to appreciate accepting our commitments and limitations. We should:
- Review our goals
- Ask for help
- Learn to delegate tasks
4.Make self-care a priority
5.Practice self-compassion
6.Do daily positive affirmations
7.Be present in the moment, the here and now
8.Become self-aware
- Use a planner to stay organized
- Know your values and commit to them
Understand that this motherhood-career juggle is a learn-on-the-job experience. It’s a job that still does not have a standard handbook. It requires you to be proactive, plan, sleep, find alone time, and socialize with friends and family and giving yourself grace. Don’t feel pressured to have to do overtime or to cook ALL the time. The best gift a mother can be gifted or gift herself is to take a break before you breakdown. Mothers continue to be superheroes as they tackle the challenges of juggling parenting and career. With the right tools in place you can help yourself complete your goals, especially when you have support from your loved ones.
